Kenneth Cloke – Author of “Resolving Conflicts at Work: Ten Strategies for Everyone on the Job”

How to Handle Conflict Like a Pro: Lessons from Kenneth Cloke on Navigating the Tough Stuff

Mike interviews Kenneth Cloke.

In any organization, conflict is inevitable. It’s not the fact that problems come up that matters. It’s how we choose to handle them. This episode dives into conflict resolution with a true expert: Kenneth Cloke, author of Resolving Conflicts at Work: Ten Strategies for Everyone on the Job. Kenneth has a track record that spans high-stakes mediations to global negotiations, and he’s here to share insights that every leader needs to hear.

Let’s explore some game-changing principles from our conversation that can help you transform how you view and handle conflict.

SUMMARY

For a long time, a “good” leader was thought to be calm and neutral, unaffected by the chaos. But here’s the truth: showing your feelings isn’t a weakness. In fact, it’s a strength when it’s done right. In moments of frustration or anger, you don’t have to suppress your feelings; you just need to redirect them productively.

Ken shared some wisdom: “Separate the person from the problem. Be soft on the person and hard on the problem.” This shift lets you get passionate without things getting personal. When you care about something, people pick up on it. But if you aim that frustration at a person, all you’ll get is resistance. Instead, point that energy at the issue itself and invite your team to tackle it alongside you. Now, you’re all on the same side, working toward the same goal instead of creating rifts.

Here’s something to think about: anger doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. Ken says, “Nobody gets angry over things they don’t care about.” That means it’s important to you if something gets you fired up. Conflict, at its heart, often comes down to a clash of deeply held values. And if you focus on what you care about instead of the anger itself, you’re already on the way to resolution.

Instead of saying, “I can’t stand how this is being handled,” try, “Here’s what matters to me and why it’s important.” Now, you’ve turned an adverse reaction into a meaningful message. This approach opens the door to honest, productive problem-solving and builds trust.

Something that may surprise you is admitting you don’t have all the answers, which can be a superpower. It’s not always easy to do, but when you acknowledge that you don’t know it all, you create a vacuum that others can step up and fill. Ken calls this “leadership adores a vacuum.” When you let your team know you need their insights, they feel genuinely invested in the process.

People want to contribute. When they know their opinions matter, they bring their best. Ken shared a story about a Toyota plant in Japan where every worker made at least one suggestion a week on how to improve production. Imagine what that kind of culture can do for innovation. When people feel part of something meaningful, they’ll show up with their best ideas.

Here’s a big takeaway: most people see complaints as problems. But Ken says every complaint is a suggestion for improvement, just phrased negatively. You’ll often find a productive idea when you dig beneath the frustration.

In the Toyota example, every complaint was treated as a suggestion for improvement. The employees knew they were heard, which built loyalty and a culture of growth. If you start listening to complaints with an open mind, you’ll turn them into valuable insights. And when you act on them, you show your team that their opinions matter.

Running a business is a rollercoaster of highs and lows. But here’s the thing: every problem holds an opportunity if you want to look for it. Ken and I discussed how the most significant setbacks can teach us the best lessons. You can either avoid or charge straight at the storm when things get tough.

Ken shared an example from Polaroid. They had the chance to move into digital photography but stuck with film out of fear of change. That decision led them down the road to failure. The difference between success and staying stuck often comes down to whether you see problems as obstacles or stepping stones. Ken calls this “running toward the storm.” When you face challenges head-on, you build resilience and set yourself up for growth.

Mike Fallat and Kenneth Cloke talk about the book Resolving Conflicts at Work: Ten Strategies for Everyone on the Job.

In my experience, the rise of AI in publishing initially looked like a threat, but once I embraced it, I saw it for what it really was: a powerful tool. Challenges can give you the edge if you’re willing to adapt and make the most of them.

Ken wrapped up with a powerful story about two British Prime Ministers, Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone. Here’s the difference between them: after a dinner with Disraeli, people would walk away saying, “He’s the most brilliant man on the planet.” But after a dinner with Gladstone, they’d say, “I’m the most brilliant person on the planet.” Gladstone empowered people by focusing on them, not himself. That kind of leadership builds loyalty and inspires greatness in others.

Ken explains that the ultimate leadership skill is helping others realize their potential. You don’t need to have the loudest voice or all the answers. Just create the space for others to step up and show them you value their input. That’s how you build a resilient, collaborative team that’s unstoppable.

If you’re ready to master the art of conflict, Kenneth Cloke’s Resolving Conflicts at Work is essential reading. Embrace the tough conversations, show your team you’re human, and let them know they’re part of the solution. Every great story has its challenges, and every challenge is a chance to lead better, stronger, and with purpose.

Get his book here:

About Mike Fallat

Mike Fallat, aka The BookMan, is the owner of Dreamstarters Publishing and the Million Dollar Book Agency. They have helped 300+ entrepreneurs become bestselling authors. His goal is to help 1,000 entrepreneurs publish books and teach them how to use their books as a gateway to generating 7-figures.

Visit website for more information: https://www.milliondollarbookagency.com/

About Dreamstarters Publishing


Dreamstarters Publishing offers ghostwriting, cover design, and everything that is required to take an idea to a finished book (kindle, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook).


The Million Dollar Book Agency is the ultimate marketing CRM system for author-preneurs. Services include automated funnels, lead generation campaigns, book fulfillment, podcast management, press releases, virtual assistants, course development, and more.

Mike also hosts a podcast known as Million Dollar Stories and runs a membership-based site known as Million Dollar Circle. In addition to owning the book business, he invests in self storage real estate.

https://dreamstarterspublishing.com/

Share this article!

Bookman Forever